Recommended Reading

A few books seem to stand out as especially helpful to couples and their families going through divorce or separation. Nearly all of these are available on-line from Amazon.com‘s divorce listings.

For your convenience, click on either a book’s title or its image, and you will  be linked to Amazon.com for more information or ordering.

* Denotes books I suggest as starting points, if you have limited resources (time, energy, money).

ADULT BOOKS ABOUT DIVORCE IN GENERAL

RAGGIO, Grier & STUTMAN, Michael
How to Divorce in New York
St. Martin's Griffin, 1997
Excellent review of divorce options. Small paperback. Does not include NYS's No-Fault law passed in October 2010
MERCER, Diana, & PRUETT, Marsha Kline
Your Divorce Advisor: A Lawyer and a Psychologist Guide You Through the Legal and Emotional Landscape of Divorce
Simon & Shuster, 2001

ADULT BOOKS ABOUT MEDIATION AND COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE SPECIFICALLY

WEBB, Stuart G. , & OUSKY,Ronald D.,
The Collaborative Way to Divorce: The Revolutionary Method That Results in Less Stress, Lower Costs, and Happier Kids – Without Going to Court
Hudson Street Press, 2006
TESLER, JD, Pauline & THOMPSON, Ph.D. Peggy, Ph.D.
Collaborative Divorce. The Revolutionary New Way to Restructure Your Family, Resolve Legal Issues, and Move on with Your Life
2007 Harper Collins
Excellent general overview of Collaborative Divorce.
FISHER, Roger, & URY, William
Getting To Yes – Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In
Penguin Books, 1981.
A classic. Often used to train professionals in "win-win" negotiations.
FISHMAN, Nancy, Ph.D.
7 Steps to a Good Divorce: Making smart Decisions
2010 Momentum Books
Short, small paperback highlighting 7 crucial aspects of the divorce process.

BOOKS FOR CHILDREN

THOMAS, Shirley, Ph.D., and RANKIN, Dorothy
Divorced But Still My Parents
1998 [2005 Third printing].
Ages 7-12. Space for drawings, journal entries, plus the story of Kristen, the kitten. Focus on feelings.
THOMAS, Pat
My Family’s Changing: A First Look at Family Break-Up
1998, Barron's Educational Series, Inc.
Short thoughtful cartoon book for ages 5 -10 asking children how they feel.
RUBIN, Judith Aron, Ph.D.
My Mom & Dad Don’t live Together Anymore : A Drawing Book
Magination Press (APA), 2002.
Ages 3 to 9 [adult help needed for younger children]. Kids draw about their feelings and experiences. Includes a "Note to Kids", "Note to Parents".
MOORE-MALLINOS, Jennifer
When My Parents Forgot How to Be Friends
2005, Gemser Publications.
Very short simple cartoon book for ages 3-7 focussing on early awareness of parent's split.
*LANSKY, Vicki
It’s not your Fault Koko Bear. A Read-Together Book for Parents and Young Children During Divorce.
Book Peddlers,Minn. 1998.
Ages 5-10. Text reading level. 3-4 grade. Footnotes for parents on each page give excellent suggestions and explanations for them.
HEEGAARD, Marge
When Mom and Dad Separate: Children Can learn to Cope with Grief from Divorce, to be Illustrated by Children
Woodland Press. 1991.
For Ages 3-6. [with adult help]
BROWN, Laurie Kransy, & BROWN, Marc.
Dinosaurs Divorce: A Guide for Changing Families
dinosaursBROWN, Laurie Kransy, & BROWN, Marc. Dinosaurs Divorce: A Guide for Changing Families Little, Brown & Co., 1986 , 2009.
Excellent cartoon book depicting a dozen essential issues. Pictures are complex and might be confusing or hard to read for a younger child. Can be read to children age 6 and up, or given to children through early teen years.

BOOKS ABOUT CHILDREN FOR ADULTS

KINDLON, Dan, Ph.D. & THOMPSON, Michael, Ph.D.,
Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys
Ballantine/ Random House N.Y.,2000.
A personal & moving accounting by two school psychologists RE: how to increase boys' emotional literacy.
* GAULD, Laura & Malcolm
The Biggest Job We’ll Ever Have
Scribner. NY. 2002.
Excellent blueprint for a character based education for the entire family. Focus on living fundamental values: attitude over aptitude; effort over achievement; character over talent.
* FRIEL, John C. Ph.D. & Linda D. FRIEL, M.A.
The 7 Worst Things (Good) Parents Do
Health Communications, Inc. Deerfield Beach, Florida. 1999.
Straightforward generic "Rules of the Game" in how parents view themselves in their parenting role.
WALLERSTEIN, Judith S. & BLAKESLEE, Sandra
What About the Kids? Raising Your Children Before, During and After Divorce
Hyperion. 2003
From break-up thru divorce, to post-divorce. Developmental approach from baby thru' college re: what to do and say.
*RICCI, Isolina, Ph.D.
Mom’s House, Dad’s House, Making two Homes for Your Child
Fireside. N.Y. 1980, 1997
A complete guide to a wide range of issues for parents and children. Chapters 12,13,14 provide an excellent step-by-step approach to the purpose and details of the Parenting Plan.
PEDRO-CAROLL, JoAnne, Ph.D.
Putting Children First: Proven Parenting Strategies for Helping Children Thrive Through Divorce
2010 Penguin Group. NY.
Common sense issues and "how to" themes. Easy to read.
NOWINSKI, Joseph, Ph.D.
The Divorced Child: Strengthening Your Family Through the First Three Years of Separation
Palgrave McMillan, N.Y., 2010.
Good summary of separation & attachment issues in each developmental stage., ages 1 thru 18.
healthydivorceGOLD, Lois, MSW.
The Healthy Divorce: Keys to Ending Your Marriage While Preserving Your Emotional Well-Being
2009
Very complete 5-Part guide with exercises, real life stories, and explicit suggestions. Chapter 7 has an excellent blueprint of Parenting Plan components.

GENERAL BOOKS ABOUT CHILDREN

BROOKS, Robert, Ph.D. and Sam Goldstein, Ph.D.
Raising Resilient Children
2001 McGraw-Hill
General parenting book. Excellent overview about communicating, accepting, loving raising healthy children.